Bar etiquette . . .

February 04, 2010

Working in the hospitality industry, I always have plenty of stories to tell about funny circumstances which happen. It seems if you work in this business long enough, you will see all sorts of normal people behaving in ways they generally would never consider when they are at home. At most points, alcohol has a large influence upon their actions.
How many times have you ever seen a thirty-five year old woman pick up a small storm drain cover about four inches square and throw it through an eight inch window trying to get into the building at three am because she thought she left her purse inside. Yes, she actually tried to get in through the eight inch window. Did she make it? Nope. Only a leg and part of her arm. The purse? She had set it down in her room then left to find it leading to the drain cover in hand instead. We compare many of the do you remember or did you hear about stories. Yes, us human beings who are sober and are working do see you when you try to hang from the lights and tear them out of the ceiling. Pretending it magically fell down doesn't work either and no, I don't care if it is your birthday. Yup, watched it happen.
English seem to take the ideas of revelry to new lows in bars. They are notorious for being huge binge drinkers who's sole purpose at a bar is to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. It starts in the early years and I see it continue through until they are damn near crawling into their grave. It is considered by most as the in thing to do. Imagine a country full of people who behave as though their are twenty one at university. Yikes is all I can say.
The funny thing about it is, English people love to stand in lines and crowd around. If there is a line of three people, other English will join the line. Here they call it "queueing." So two English guys or gals (in this sex doesn't matter) are standing at a bar ordering a drink. A few more will come in and stand next to the first few. Soon, as the bar gets busier, they will form into a pack at the bar. Having their drinks in hand, they will stay with the others because there is now a line and to leave the line is an unforgivable and un-English. As the twenty people with drinks stand at the bar, the twenty behind who can't actually get to the bar grumble about slow service. The barman meanwhile has nothing to do because everybody has been served who is next to the bar. If someone has to leave to go to the bathroom, it will open a small hole into the next person will crowd, of course not moving once their drink has been ordered. Thankfully, a few innocent souls actually order and do leave the bar on an infrequent basis.
I walked into one of my bars a few nights ago. The room is forty feet by thirty feet with a twenty foot bar including the service hatch. Note: Service hatch is where the servers come and go from the bar. Stay out of the way, they are most likely trying to get you drinks at some point. Huge leather sofa, squishy arm chairs again in leather tables galor are all arranged in the room neatly. Sixty plus English occupied a three foot space in front of the bar crammed like sardines. Luckily, it was only a half an hour before they wanted to sit down for dinner. Just in time for the next group of "normal adults" to come in for their pre-dinner drinks.